Open Handed

Open Handed

    Receive all God has. This is the scariest phrase I’ve ever heard. Receive ALL God has. Opening up to all God has for us is hugely risky. God has good things for us. Big things. But to receive big things, our hands have to be open, fingers uncurled. And I am a grasper. I want to cling to what I love – the people in my life, my plans, my comfort. It feels more secure to close my fist and squeeze tight so that none of it can slip away. I hold on to the things I’ve been given like my daughter clutches her security blanket. She loves that thing, but there are times I ask her to put her blankie down so I can hold her hand. And she does, because she trusts me, and because I’m a bigger comfort to her than her blankie is. She puts down something she can’t imagine life...

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Too Much and Not Enought

Too Much and Not Enought

    I talk too much. My house is too chaotic. My kids are too wild, and I laugh too loud. I trust too easily. I cry too frequently. I eat too much sugar. I lose my temper too often, and I leave too many things half way done. I’m not strong enough. I don’t bite my tongue as often as I should. I don’t vacuum the stale Cheerios out of my car until they reach critical mass. I don’t always speak up when it’s needed. I’m not as patient with my kids as I should be, and I haven’t memorized enough Scripture. I am too much, and I am not enough. Really, a lot of the time I feel like a disorganized, impatient, emotionally charged mess. So what makes me think I can handle uprooting my family and making a life on a mission field half way across the world? I remember my mom...

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